LOST

So often I have tried,

So painstakingly and desperately,

So many times I should have died,

Yet Death evades me, maybe fortunately?

But a live of misery I have so long survived,

And trying to find my way my only crime.

Is it me that's the problem,

Or what lies in the insides?

Is it the happiness I show,

Or the pain which I hide?

For one is real, the other is a lie,

But neither consoles me, no matter how hard I try.

A smile upon my face,

And a grimace I hide,

Confidence on my tongue,

And confusion on my mind.

What is the purpose,

What does it take to find?

Is my life upon a timer,

Or a race to be timed?