It's not the same when half of your soul goes missing. When your heart vanishes, and your only reason to continue going on in this shitty world isn't by your side. Imagine waking up, in a familiar place, yet somehow everything is different. The stars that you used to love, that seemed so warm, are now cold and indifferent. Instead of twinkling like her eyes, they mock your loneliness. The sun holds no warmth, and any smile you give is hollow and meaningless. Laughter, which once came naturally, is forced, and all you want to do is curl into a ball and fade away to the black. Everything around you is a harsh reminder of what she means to you. That playlist that used to make you smile, makes you feel empty. All the remaining things in your life from her, you cling to hoping that she comes back to you. The stuffies, the pictures, rings, and bracelets. The words she gave you, the last messages she sent... All of these are saved, and you try to figure out what went wrong, what you did that needed to be fixed. So you push everyone away that used to be your friends, and the only two people you still talk to are trying their best to hold you together. But it's pointless, like emptying a leaky boat with a sieve. And you bleed out on the inside, losing track of the days. The nights are sleepless, and eventually you're physically unable to cry anymore.
Can you imagine that? Could you deal with it, or would you give up as well? What's the point? She was the only thing that mattered to you, and no matter what, you still love her, miss her, and care about her. Even now, you're wondering if she's ok. And you would take her back in a heartbeat, no questions asked. And it's the hope that this will happen that gets you through another day, almost one month later. And the rare glimpses of her, cut you to the bone, but you don't care, because she is your only reason for breathing, no matter how much it hurts. Hoping, wishing, waiting for her to come back.